Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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