she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
