I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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