the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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