I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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