you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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