I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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