I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
