and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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