I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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