So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
