You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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