I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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