ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
