It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
