yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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