There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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