In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just googled if crying burns calories
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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