Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
