drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
