my mouth tastes like poor choices
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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