I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I have aggressive nipples.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
