i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
