His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
