Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
