college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
