You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I think my fart just growled at me.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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