do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I feel like abortions should bother me more
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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