you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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