i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
