So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
