so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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