I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
