its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
