Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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