Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
