I want to stick my p in your. b.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
