apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
