420 ftw
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
