This is not my ceiling
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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