that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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