we're blogging at a bar
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
