some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
