This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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