tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
zippers are such a cool invention
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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