We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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