What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
