wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
