You're my little dorito
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
