I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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