O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
