Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize