Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
