i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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