we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize