1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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