I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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