I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
