k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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