i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
