honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
