The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Randomize
