She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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