I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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