I didn't shave. On purpose
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
