I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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