The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
