Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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