I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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