I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
