Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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